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Eileen-who-is-Eileen [userpic]
The Workbench
by Eileen-who-is-Eileen (eowynjedi)
at February 21st, 2008 (09:27 pm)

Fandom: KOTOR II
Genre: General
Characters: LSF Exile, Bao-Dur, Atton
Warnings: None
Author's Note: I'm sick and tired of reading fic where the Exile is weeping and crying all over the place because of what happened in the Mandalorian Wars (and usually so she can be immediately comforted by whoever is her love interest in that story). I don't know much about PSTD, but I know that there is more than one way to cope with terrible things that happened ten years ago. I scrabbled this in my personal journal initially; this is the revised version.


"You might not want to go in there right now."

"C'mon, she's been in there half the night. I don't think one person is going to disturb her that much."

"Maybe she likes it in there. Trust me, she doesn't want company."

Her crewmates' voices barely registered--she did not conciously identify them as Bao-Dur and Atton. Her entire focus was on the energy shield and the click as the final piece locked into place. Silently, expressionlessly, she added it to the seventeen others she'd made. Arkanian design, excellent at blocking energy. They would need more energy shields now that they were meeting more bounty hunters.

"What do you need? Maybe I can go in and get it."

"Well, nothing in particular--I just wanted to you know, talk to her."

"Trust me, the General's not going to talk to anyone right now."

She had one of the short lightsabers out on the workbench now, one that Visas liked to use. Visas had been shot rather badly in the arm yesterday. She'd shrugged it off, like every other wound she recieved--just one more pain in a lifetime of pain. But the Exile could not share Visas' resigned acceptance of suffering. There was no reason for Visas to endure more than she had already.

"What, are you her bouncer?"

"Why not play some pazaak with T3, Atton? He's seemed a little down the past couple of days."

That reminded her. T3 needed another armor upgrade. Bao-Dur was an excellent mechanic, but she liked to work on him herself sometimes--not that T3 was really he or she, but "it" was not the right word. That little droid was a better fighter than some sentients she had known, and she liked him. But war never cared who was better or steadier, what soldiers you liked and who you were friends with. Only you could care about these things.

And it wasn't enough to care about the soldiers under your command, or recognize who would make a good officer, or to have been friends with someone ten years and more. War didn't know about those things. All war knew was that that person wasn't wearing a proper energy shield, and so they would die. It was that simple.

Learning this was a painful thing. But now she knew what to do with her care.

"What the hell have you been doing in here all night?"

"Atton." She said his name flatly, refusing to think about everything those six letters meant. "Get out."

"Huh? What'd I say?"

That reminded her. "Give me your blaster so I can upgrade it. Then get. out."

Comments

Posted by: Mlle de Fer (mlledefer)
Posted at: February 24th, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
fanficlove

thanks for sharing:)

Posted by: M (emavalexis)
Posted at: February 24th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
darthroxors

And it wasn't enough to care about the soldiers under your command, or recognize who would make a good officer, or to have been friends with someone ten years and more. War didn't know about those things. All war knew was that that person wasn't wearing a proper energy shield, and so they would die. It was that simple.

So aptly-stated.

I don't know anything about these characters, being largely ignorant of the EU, but I like the way you write the Exile. This was nicely done.

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: April 7th, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
KOTOR FTW

Hey, this is one of those girls from the Honors Conference with the Star Wars poster...Good fic. I especially liked "it wasn't enough to care about the soldiers under your command, or recognize who would make a good officer, or to have been friends with someone ten years and more. War didn't know about those things. All war knew was that that person wasn't wearing a proper energy shield, and so they would die. It was that simple.", and the last bit. Her responce to the PTSD being to become extremely practical makes sense. You write pretty well, and this scene is just the right length for the atmosphere you're trying to evoke.

Now I feel bad, because I pretty much wrote one of those weepy!ExilexMan stories. I knew it wasn't any good, too. Oh well. You've been warned. Snrk.

Posted by: Eileen-who-is-Eileen (eowynjedi)
Posted at: April 9th, 2008 04:13 am (UTC)
Re: KOTOR FTW
Juhani

Hello! And thank you! =D I like including ingame mechanics in stories, like all the time I as a player spend taking things apart and reassembling them at the workbench and what that means in the game itself... I feel like writing something about her habit of looting corpses at every opportunity now. (Because that's not morally questionable at ALL.)

xD And I wouldn't worry about it. I've got some horrors lurking around on my harddrive too... mainly every attempt I've ever made at KOTOR 3, which inevitably includes an attempt at Disciple/Visas. Mmm, crack.

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